Horse love
I didn’t have to speak; the mare read the stories in my eyes and she just knew. I fed her carrots and we talked without words while the sun set over the Kansas sky.
She sensed my struggles: stressful situations with the kids, a recent breakup, my scary basement, taxes, anxiety over several things beyond my control, and the general malaise and feeling of failure caused by parenting.
I was writing in my head. I’m always writing in my head, with Fear sitting next to me, grabbing my arms, leaning close, and whispering wickedly in my ear:
“You don’t have anything worthwhile to say.”
“Look out, you never know who might be reading this…”
“No one blogs anymore, anyway.”
“You’re not a real writer.”
Well, fuck that shit. I’m here to write. And though I may not be able to share my kids’ stories (those are for them to tell someday), I have plenty of my own.
I’m reminding myself that writing is a practice, like anything else. If I don’t practice, I won’t get better. I will stagnate. Just as I return to the barre to work out several days each week, stretching my legs and easing into a split (no way, just kidding, I can’t do a split! But maybe one day?), I will come back here and tell my stories.
I am committing myself to one story (or something) a week. It should be an easy enough goal. Like old school blogging. I miss that connection, the way things were. I don’t even know if it exists anymore. Regardless, it’s something I need to do for myself. I don’t care if anyone reads it.
This is something I have to do for me.
Because I’m a writer.
Yes you are.
This is beautiful and perfect.
thank you for reading, friend. <3
Welcome back, love.
xoxo, C. Thank you for coming over here to read!
Yes you are. And always will be <3
I hope you’re right, mirror friend. xo
Welcome back! Enjoy yourself & write
Thank you so much!
Is there sex after divorce?
YES! And it’s amazing!
I’ve been wanting to come back to blogging. My voices say the same thing. Thank you for sharing. I really needed to read this today
I hope you will return to blogging, too! Let’s do it together?
So glad you wrote. I miss old-school blogging, too. But write once a week. So it’s something? And welcome back. xo
So much of what you said in the six synced blog post is racing through my mind daily. I admire your tenacity, and I’ve committed to do the same in my life. Thanks for the great work.
Succinct. Editing my writing is tedious. HA!
part of my problem is I edit as I am writing my posts…I need to stop that
because it gets longer, more tedious, and the perfection kicks in. Ugh.
I had a feeling you meant succinct! 🙂
Tenacity is hard with so many things going against me.
But I’m really getting back to it. Even if it’s shit.
I mean, of course it’s going to be shit. Everyone has to write through
the shit, even the most seasoned authors. Or this is what I tell
myself. 🙂