This is my first time participating with The Sunday Spill & G*Funkified’s iPPP meme. I love looking at their photos because they’re ridiculously talented behind the camera (or iPhone, as it were). I, on the other hand, am not.
But today I had a meeting at the hospital where Piper was born. I remembered the day I was discharged, we decided not to wait for a wheelchair because
we knew it would take another hour I wanted to get home and start my new life with our new baby. Let’s just say that walk? Was one of the longest and most painful of my life; but today, walking there again…I felt waves of tenderness and nostalgia wash over me. The twins skipped along next to D as he carried Piper in her carseat, while I shuffled very slowly and very far behind, bowling ball between my legs.
So, 20 months later:
one of the things i love about you
is even in all of your “baby-ness,”
you are such a little girl already.
your right leg tossed carelessly over your left.
even in the high chair, your chubby ankles are crossed.
your knees red, rubbed raw from speed crawling
when you should be walking—
but you’re my baby. our baby. our last baby. our miracle baby.
i want to carry you on my hip forever.
i’m torn between wanting you to toddle and start walking
and wanting you to stay my little one always, pulling on me
to pick you up.
maybe it is I who has kept you a baby for so long.
the minutes when it’s just you and me…
i can’t believe the gift you are to me.
but now it’s time for me to let you go
let you grow.
because i know
i should push you to do things big girls do.
i have been selfish with you and it’s only held you back.
go on, sweet Piper.
i love you, red bean.