Her poignant and powerful post stirred up so many things inside of me, particularly my feelings about being a woman and how I define it. How I struggle with it, even now at the age of 34.
Without medical intervention, I can’t get pregnant. I don’t ovulate because I have PCOS, which you can read about here. I have blogged about our journey several times, most recently here for the Red Dress Club.
What I’ve been thinking about lately is how my own feelings of femininity are closely tied to my inability to conceive. How being a women at its most basic level means being able to bear children. Carry said children in your womb naturally, effortlessly, beautifully. There is honestly nothing I love more than a pregnant belly–preferably mine, but I’ll take yours, too–and I miss mine desperately sometimes. So if I come up to you and ask to feel your belly? Please consider letting me. And then don’t worry too much when you see me start to cry.
The times I’ve felt most feminine, most proud to be a woman? Were undoubtedly when I was pregnant, my belly full of babies, round with potential, an outward sign of my femininity, my power, my prowess:
I am a mother. I am a mother. I am a mother.
If I can do this? I can do anything.
Abby & Izzy’s Birth Day, 12/9/05
Where do you think your feelings of femininity come from? Am I just nuts? I’d love to hear your opinions & perspectives on this.