We drove to McDonald’s at least once a week in the maroon Saturn Valerie had bought with her own hard-earned money working summers at Colonial Country Club as a lifeguard.
We worshipped that Dollar Menu, always going to the same McDonald’s on High Street that was open late. We took comfort in the sameness of it, our routine, each other.
“Two large Diet Cokes and two large fries,” we’d yell in unison at the stupid black box. We loved the giant paper cups, promptly plunking our straws in and slurping contentedly. Nothing compared to a fountain Diet Coke, especially late at night with lots of homework ahead.
I could never wait til we got back to the dorm to start shoveling the hot, salty fries into my mouth. Shoving food down my throat was so much easier (and more delicious) than talking about whatever was bothering me.
We listened to Valerie’s Pete Townsend tape over and over again, especially “Let My Love Open the Door.” The ten-minute escape from campus, studying and all the noise was always a treat.
Where would we be without our friends to whisk us away? To sit with us and be still, even if we don’t feel like talking? To wrap us in a warm hug, leave a little card in our mailbox, or to call and check in?
I am guilty of being a bad friend lately. Of falling off, hiding out, not staying in touch as well as I should. The reasons are many and varied, but they probably don’t matter. I just hope my real friends understand.
And to the friends I’ve managed to alienate via this blog, life choices, my truths, and whatever else? I’m sorry. I miss you and think of you often.
But I’m still going to write my truths.
Wow you sound like my kind of girl. A fountain Diet Coke and Fries is heaven! And yes, I too feel like I have been a less than perfect friend lately. It is so much harder to keep in touch than I had hoped and my life gets in the way these days. In friendship and blogging you must say or write your truths. Your true friends should stay with you even if they disagree.
Thanks Brittany! You said it. Life really does get in the way. And I love what you said— “In friendship AND blogging, you must say or write your truths.” YES!!!!!
😉
I’ll have a Diet Coke and fries with you anytime. And I know what you mean about friends …. XO
Let’s make it a date, then! And hopefully we’ll see each other again before the next Blissdom?!
xoxo
I love your writing Erin… and no matter where you go or what you write about, I am glad to be able to call you a friend. I love the support that you’ve given to me in the short time that we’ve known each other, and hope that we continue to grow as friends in the years to come. No matter what happens and where life takes us.
Thank you, Julie. I am thrilled to be able to call you my friend, too! I hope things are okay and please know you can call me anytime. Or use that flask I gave you!
😉
xoxo
I love this, Erin! Friendships have ups and downs, times when you see each other all the time or times when you go for months (sometimes years) in between. Real friends understand this about relationships and each other. And when they don’t, then I feel it was a good season while it lasted and wish them well.
Thank you, Leigh. I’m glad we’re on the same page and thinking along the same lines!
In Spanish, after friend after friend disappointed me in high school, and college–my grandmother would say, “better one good friend, than 100 false friends.”
I think about that saying still.
I am a true friend, E.
Your grandmother was right. That is the truth. And I know you are a true friend. I hope you know that I am, too.
😉
xoxo
Real friends take the road to understanding instead of doubt. Your real friends understand you. Your doubting friends may not be for real. Clear as mud? It sounded right in my head anyway. Much love, my friend. You are lovely.
Terri,
It’s totally clear! Have no fear! Love back to you and I’m so grateful to you for understanding and being patient with me. I’m sorry I haven’t been around very much.
;-(
Real friends will understand your absence lately. If they don’t, then they weren’t real friends.
You’re right, Jessica. I need to remember that. It’s just hard because I feel so guilty. I can’t juggle it all, you know?
You write your truths when you are able. Your friends will wait. If the don;t, they’re probably not the kinds of of people you want for friends, anyhow. Shalom!
Shalom to you, Rob-bear! I think you’re right. It’s just really hard sometimes.
😉
Thanks for stopping by!
Our study outlet in college was to have pizza delivered. Of course, the breaks always seemed to take longer than we had planned.
we had tons of pizza, too! hence the weight i gained in college!
Now I must know where you’re from! Back in college, our McDonald’s was on high street as well! Lol
well, I’m from New Orleans, but this was written about my college days, which were spent in Jackson, Mississippi. I’m guessing there are lots of High Streets, though? Would be too funny, though—if we were near the same one!?
Aww…what a sweet, real post! I guess sometimes, life gets in the way…whether by way of detours, roadblocks, or even truths. <3
Thank you, Christi!
Yes, life does get in the way. Sigh.
Well you are stuck with me hun, point blank. I agree with you I have to write my truths as well. The things I think and dream even if they are of an adult nature. I apparently nearly gave my mom heart failure telling her I wrote an adult blog.. Oh yeah that went over well lol..
OMG!!! you told your MOM?!!??! omg. I can’t wait to hear more about this one!!!
Writing about my friends always makes me feel closer to them, even if it’s memories that might be painful. Writing your truths is the only to live and u are learning that. The real people in your life will see that, see the passion flowing out of u is what makes u amazing and they will stay and you will BOTH be better for it.
I am here..reading, listening, engaged.
Xo
I agree, Kirsten. I wrote this about a friend I don’t talk to anymore. We went to college together and then our paths diverged after that for several reasons…I miss her. It is just part of life, I know, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
Thank you for always being here, always listening.
I have so been a bad friend lately too. I totally understand this. I actually told my sister-in-law the other day that unfortunately she is my closest friend right now and she laughed and said no, fortunately! It was sweet! I am just so busy with life and everything else that I sometimes forget to stop and call someone or send them a text. My true friends know that I am always here, unfortunately life just gets in the way sometimes. I have also been burned by way too many people in the past so it is hard for me to get super close to someone. It sucks.
You need to write your truths! There is no reason to hide who you are. I love who you are and I am always here, even if you don’t see me!
Thank you, dollface! I know you are always here. And I am always here for you, too. I have been burned a lot in the past, too…which I think is a big reason why I write. To get stuff out, work through it, etc…
Life does get in the way. Sigh. It’s all good, but I just struggle sometimes and get overwhelmed.
😉
You are a great friend to me. And I want you to take care of you however you need.
You are the sweetest. And I can’t believe I won your giveaway! Need to go over and see those comments you told me about! xoxoxoxoox HUGS
You have to be true to yourself or nothing in life matters. And for the record, those giant fountain sodas are THE BEST!
They are! I quit soda a long time ago, but have had to return to it the last couple of days….oy!
I don’t even drink soda anymore, but reading that I could taste the salty fries and the bubbly sweetness. Yum! I used to eat/drink that combo quite a bit in my younger years. Fun times!
As for being true to yourself – if you don’t, there’s no point. Right? Why fake it? So write from your heart, and when you need a friend, call on the ones that are there for you, and don’t worry about the rest.
Ally,
Guess what? I hadn’t had soda in over a year until I wrote this. Then yesterday? I was feeling soooo sick. Had to have a REAL Coke (not even Diet). It made me feel so much better. Had more today. Feel horribly guilty, but I didn’t even drink the whole can and it’s the only thing helping me hold it together/feel human.
Oh wow, this really takes me back to my college days as well! Except our thing was the Taco Bell drive thru and I remember exactly what my friends and I always ordered! Good times.
Real friends will understand. If they don’t, they were never real friends.
HELENE! I am such a bad bloggy friend.
But guess what? shhhh. I’m pregnant. No IVF.
it’s very early and I probably shouldn’t be telling people, but after everything we went through for the girls? we’re over the moon.
(p.s. it’s just one!)
Hallelujah write your truths.
AMEN! Thank you, sweets!
I just ran an errand before I picked up Henry from preschool. And before I left the house, I knew I’d be pulling through the McyD’s drive-thru to treat myself to….a diet coke and french fries. Oh. Sweet. Nectar. Of. The. Gods.
I feel your pain about the alienation of friends and loved ones. One I worry about, too. Sending hugs to you. xoxo
Nectar of the Gods, indeed!!! Confession: I went to McD’s for the first time in forever yesterday. Not only did I get a REAL Coke, but I got hash browns. There are just some times when mommy needs her fix. I abhor fast food, but….writing this? Put it in my head. LOL!
So happy you came by!
It’s hard to stay in touch with friends. Everyone has their own lives, but if they are true, they know you are always in their hearts and they are in yours.
Shorty,
It is so hard to stay in touch. And my list of excuses is a mile long. I suck.
And I want you to know (case in point) that I totally read your Red Dress post last week—about you and hubs going on that trip to the mountains in France (but my internet was acting up and it wouldn’t let me comment at the time, and then meant to go back and didn’t)….I’m so happy you linked up and did it!! I know you were so nervous, but I think it was such a big step for you!!! I hope you’ll link up again soon? There’s a pink donut prompt for Friday that I have some thoughts about. I might even try fiction (GULP)!
You keep on writing, Erin!
I know the joy that is fountain pop. Oh, and large fries, too!
omg. Liz, you said “pop.” I think that just added to your cute quotient.
😉
xoxo
Well written, Erin. It’s hard with life, sometimes, to keep in touch with everyone. Real friends always understand, though. And I’m one of those people who believe you can count your best friends on one hand.
Now THAT is the truth. I am leery of those who have soooooooo many friends. I also wonder if my definition of “friend” differs from everyone else’s? Or if my criteria are more stringent? So hard sometimes….sigh.
That’s exactly what your real friends want… your real truth.
I hope you’re feeling well. 🙂
Mary,
I want to believe you’re right. But sometimes I wonder if people like us to sugar coat things….
I miss you. I’m sorry I haven’t been by.
How are YOU feeling?
I’ve had friends on my mind lately, too. And Erin? It’s so hard for me to picture you intentionally damaging a friendship. People are people, and some of them move through our lives briefly. And you keep writing about your truths and that’s what’s important.
Sherri,
I don’t feel like I’ve ever intentionally damaged a friendship…but I have written things on my blog that have probably aliented a small handful of people. Meaning the people I was writing about….since you know I write about my truths/my life/my non-fiction since I suck at fiction. And even though I don’t use real names and I pepper my truths with bits of disguise, I can see why some people would be upset with me. Oy. It’s a fine line.
I just adore you. Have I told you that lately???
I understand. Sometimes, it is difficult to stay close. But those memories are right there, and as real as the taste of salt on your tongue.
Real friends pick up where you left off. I know this to be true.
Hope you’re feeling better each day.
Thank you, Nancy. I am not feeling better (yet), but this is a good thing. I hope to be rounding the bend by the time I see you?!?!!? hopefully?!?! how many days????
Write the truth my friend. It is a rare commodity these days. You’re a giver, and it is difficult when a giver is sidelined. Forgive yourself as your true friends are surely only worrying about you, not keeping score. The ones keeping score? Well, you have a classy blog, so I’ll just say, they can take a long walk off a short pier.
XO
PS – curse you though, I now want french fries.
Ash,
I have a classy blog? LMAO! You are so cute. I want to believe you are right. But sometimes? If I’m honest? I can say I’ve been guilty of keeping score of some things. Which makes me feel mean and wicked.
And I went to McDonald’s yesterday. It was too early for fries, so I had hash browns instead. LOL!
Besides the fact that it is not 8:00 yet this morning and I now feel the need to speed to the nearest McDonald’s, this post was just what I needed. A reminder of what I would like to believe.
I would like to believe that my true friends understand. That they are patient and don’t keep track of who called whom last. Or who emailed what when.
I trust that they are happy to hear from me – even sporadically – and I feel the same about them.
I can only imagine someone lucky enough to be friends with you over the years feels the same way. There is much goodness in you. And in your truths.
Oh sweet, sweet Julie.
Can I just tell you that I actually did go to McDonald’s yesterday? But I did not have a Diet Coke, I had a REAL Coke. And hash browns. And I didn’t die. I abhor fast food, but sometimes…a woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do.
Your words are like a warm bear hug. Thank you. I needed that!
I think that people who are true friends are not alienated by the truths we share.
I also think you are an amazing person and writer.
And I think you just made me want to cry. Thank you so much. And secretly (or not so)? I am in complete agreement with you about “true friends.”
they will wait for you to reconnect… and when you do it’s so much fun catching up. Just did that this weekend after 18 years and it was like a we had just missed one heart beat.
I hope you’re right! It’s scary though, sometimes—-to feel like I’m the one who should reconnect. And what if the other person doesn’t want to? Ugh.
your true friends will wait for you to reconnect and when you do it’ll be like you were never apart. Just did that this weekend after 18years and it was like we had only missed a heartbeat.
This is such a layered piece! The food so you don’t have to talk. The drive being an escape. Sharing your truth and how that has changed your friendships. Beautifully written. You are so strong and bold and anyone who doesn’t understand that lives with the burden of fear. Well done.
thank you so much! yes, food means you don’t have to talk. it means more stuffing things down. I’m good at that, even now, after all these years.
I used to think that if they were your real friends they would understand, but I’ve been burned by that statement before, now I have no clue.
I would rather have honesty than sugar coated lies.
McD’s fries and a fountain coke.. Sinfully satisfying.
Especially when your preggo 😉
oh yes, sweetie. totally satisfying! and sinfully ADDICTIVE as well! ack!
😉
Erin,
Thank you for cracking open your heart and sharing your truth. I’ve said this so many times, but you just never know when something you say is going to mean the world to someone else. Now, I’m a reforming junk foodie, only caving to the occasional fries and burger. Seeking out grass fed and whole grains and fresh cut russets. I try to be a “good” role model to my kids now. But the truth is when I was a teenager, I had Dr. Pepper and Kit Kat. Yep. That was my love. My sweet drip into the veins of insecurity, fear, worry, anxiety, you name it. And I shared it with my best friends. The sugar highs and the air blowing through the open windows of my beater Nissan or her insanely hip VW bug. And while I have lost touch with those friends, I passed on my Dr. P and kit kat pangs to my college best friend…who is still my best friend. And you can bet my organic, home grown ass I will get another Dr. P and kit kat to sit with her and just be any day. And all the tears and hugs that follow are the real sugar in my life.
thank you.
I *was* a reforming junk foodie….but recently learned I have a bun in the oven. Now those soft drinks I gave up? Are coming back to me….b/c Coke is the only remedy for me right now. And anything salty. So funny! I am glad you came over to share with me. I appreciate it so very much, more than you know.
😉
I stopped by today because I wondered if maybe my blog roll wasn’t updating you. I guessed that you were just taking your time writing and really just enjoying the process. I was happy to drop in and see you here today. I think it’s wonderful that you are taking the time daily to write, putting it out there, and supporting other writers as well. It’s so clear just by visiting your blog once to see what an impact you’ve had on people’s lives and how much you are loved. 🙂
Oh Mindy. Thank you. You are an angel, you know that? I haven’t been around much. A lot going on. Don’t feel well and am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open…..but it was a joy to come over here and see your comments! How are YOU doing/feeling?
Oh, and I neglected to actually tell you how much I could relate to this post and the way hopping in a car with a roommate, cranking up some music, rolling down the windows, and simply enjoying some freedom from homework and responsibilities. Good times.
Erin, you are so warm, open, and honest, that I really don’t know how you could alienate anyone. If your honesty offended someone, then they probably weren’t your friend to begin with. 🙂
Your truths have never pushed me away.
Truth is powerful, even if there is hurt in the process. In the end, it brings healing.
Keep writing those truths!!
Lately, I have been…well, you know. So, I understand hiding out. You have a lot going on right now (and I’m sure a lot more than what I know about). If you need an understanding ear, I’m here for you, anytime. If you need space, I’ll be around when you are ready for less space, with no judgement on how long it took you to come back.
There is nothing better than warm, salty french fries and a fountain coke (but make mine regular, I don’t do diet). YUM! That is comfort food for me.
Real friends always understand. I can relate to this post very much.
Truth is all we’ve got most days. Don’t ever think about dismissing it. That’s why most of your readers are here and keep coming back. Same should go for real-life friends. But I have definitely been in situations where someone didn’t understand my absence had nothing to do with them. High maintenance friends I call them and often not worth the effort. You do what you have to do and we’ll all still be here. Promise.
you’d never push me away with your truths- only draw me closer. you know, but not in a creepy, gossipy kind of way but as a supportive confidant 😉
Real friends always understand….and rarely need an apology. Write your truths, they are important.
Love this piece Erin. I think so many of us have felt these very same things and you capture it perfectly.
Every.Single.Time you write your truths, you give someone else the courage to sing theirs…. Keep doing it – you are brave and beautiful and your true friends will always be there… Love you, friend!
Be who you are Erin and don’t worry about the rest. The friends who are hurt have their own paths to forge. The hot fries, large diet coke and good friends reminiscing sounds perfect to me.