Today I’m participating in Memoir Monday, hosted by Travis over at I Like to Fish. Check out his blog for more info! Basically it just has to be something true hiding deep in the recesses of your memory. So here goes!
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I grew up in New Orleans, and my parents have some really good friends, John & Chelsea, who live in Houston. John and Chelsea have two kids, Brian and Teres, who are close in age to my brothers and me, so trips & visits always worked out well. They would often come to New Orleans to visit us and we’d go to Houston to visit them.
Back then, all of our parents smoked heavily. John and Chelsea would walk into our kitchen after the six-hour drive from Houston and suddenly my parents would light up and the heavy haze of smoke began to descend like a blanket. There was always a lot of loud, obnoxious laughter and it was only recently that I learned marijuana was sometimes involved, that it wasn’t just Benson & Hedges the grownups were smoking! My parents pretended to be Ward & June Cleaver, but it was apparently a convenient disguise.
Sometimes the four adults went out to dinner and left Brian in charge. He was the eldest of all us kids, but he still knew how to have fun. As soon as the door shut behind them, we’d go up to my room and haul out the twin mattress from my trundle bed. We would take turns dragging the mattress to the top of the stairwell and riding on top of it all the way down. It was great fun. My parents often wondered why the bench and potted Schefflera at the base of the stairwell were always in different positions once they returned, but we never ‘fessed up until we were older.
Anyway, we were in Houston once when I was probably seven years old. We were staying at the Adams Mark Hotel and had two rooms: one for my parents, and an adjoining room for Mark, Kevin, and me.
The trauma began early that Saturday morning when I wandered into my parents’ room still wiping crust from my eyes. I discerned something very suspicious going on under the covers. Though I didn’t really see anything, it was what I didn’t see that was so disturbing. There was a lot of motion, rolling around, (thankfully no noise, as I’m sure they were trying not to wake us up) elbows jutting out here and there, and sheets being stretched this way and that. While I didn’t exactly know what was going on, I had a pretty good idea since my parents had recently bought me a copy of this book, Where Did I Come From?. Its laughable cartoony images of naked parents will haunt me forever (I once brought this book to school to share with my friends at recess–but that is another Memoir Monday)!
I quietly backed out of their room and tried to erase what I’d just seen from my brain. I also told my brothers not to go in there and lied that mom and daddy were still sleeping and suggested we stay in our room quietly. I think I turned on some cartoons. And I began to stew about what I’d seen.
My parents got up, we all got dressed and went to grab an elevator so we could head over to John & Chelsea’s house. An elevator opened up and my brother, Mark, hopped right in. The elevator quickly gobbled him up, its wide mouth closing before any of us realized what was happening. Hysteria instantly set in, as we were in a very large hotel with many floors and several elevators. We hoped that Mark had the common sense to at least stay in the same elevator and not get out somewhere. My dad went to alert the front desk to see if they could stop the elevators, etc., while my mom and I stayed right where we were. I think we were all hysterical, there was a lot of running around, panicking, and trying to get other people to help us look out for Mark on other floors.
Within about five very long minutes, the same elevator that had swallowed Mark whole returned to the lobby. It opened its mouth up wide and in one breathless moment my mom swooped in and grabbed him. Mark was grinning ear to ear and had apparently had a great time (or at least this is how I remember it, but he may have a comment or a different memory??) while the rest of us were running around like crazy people.
Once we finally left the hotel and headed over to John and Chelsea’s house, my mom’s radar went off and she could tell something was wrong with me. While the elevator debacle had temporarily distracted me from the debauchery I’d witnessed in the wee hours of the morning, I hadn’t forgotten. I’d only grown more distressed about it. Mom finally asked me what was wrong and in a mess of tears I confessed what I’d seen. I think she was a little embarrassed herself, but she laughed and admitted that they’d been having sex. My worst fears were confirmed—MY PARENTS HAVE SEX. LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX. And not just procreational sex, which in my childlike mind was at least somewhat acceptable. This was recreational sex, sex for no good reason! Parents are not supposed to do that! Ewwwwwww!
I shudder to think of what will happen when our kids walk in on us. Perhaps that is an incentive to lock doors?!?!
Geez. At least they were under the covers and all you saw was an elbow. The first time I walked in on my parents, I was like 13. I didn't see anything, it was dark. I had an earache. I quickly forgot about it.
Thanks for the participation, and I believe I owe your people an apology for some culturally insensitive remarks made by my drunk friends!
My daughter once got on an elevator without me. We could hear her screaming all the way up and all the way down…
My mother sometimes talks to me about sex. That's just wrong.
He he he! That was a great story. I mean…I'm sorry. You poor thing. I, thankfully, never experienced such a thing. Thankfully! Ewwwww. Parents doing that!
I am so thankful I have also never had my kids experience such a thing:) Yea!
I never caught my parents in that way, but we always somehow knew that's what they were up to if they actually went in their bedroom and closed the door, and believe me, I stayed far far away. LOL
Wait, are you telling me you don't lock doors already???
I have a similar memory but it involved hearing things through a closed door. Disgusting, permanently scarring sounds.
oh no. you poor thing!! i never witnessed anything, but i found a note from my mom that said 'thanks for last night'.
i think i just threw up a little bit in my mouth. ick.
I never caught my parents (they divorced when I was 5) but I saw my dad kiss my step-mom in an unholy manner when I was about 8- I seriously thought that was sex until I had sex-ed in jr high!
Great trip down memory lane. Thankfully I have never caught my parents "going at it" and I have to stop typing now so I can get that image out of my head! Ewwwww!!!!
I never walked in on my parents. I'm pretty sure they did only have procreationaly sex. (If you knew my mom, you'd understand.)
Oh the horror!! To find out one, that it was more than cig smoke and two, that OMG the parents DID it!!!
I never walked in on the rents, but I did have a naked dad run into my room when I woke up screaming from a nightmare, and then my mom shared her favorite position – eww eww eww
I love your stories, I feel as if I am right there with you!
Well I never walked in on my parents as my dad moved out when I was 5 but I did overhear my mother masturbating once (ACK!) and I also discovered a Polaroid of my father laying on a bed naked, gripping his erect penis! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! An image I will sadly never get out of my head!
Oh and the year Mike and I hosted Thanksgiving, it ended with all of us grown-ups taking rides down the stairs on Belle's crib mattress! Ha, ha, ha!
Erin, you have vivid memories. And a way of vividly describing them. And now I have vivid images in my head. Thanks…….LOL.
Fortunately, I never caught my parents, and I'm quite sure that although they smoked, they didn't do the reefer thing.
But your elevator story brings back a long forgotten memory. We were in a motel in Canada when I was about 12 and my brother was 4 or 5. We all got out of the elevator, or so we thought. As we got off and turned around, there was my little brother still inside. For some reason he just stood there, and yep, there went the doors. Of course, my mom panicked and started doing the mommy scream as dad rushed towards the closing doors. A tad too late. We could hear my brother screaming, as in bloody murder. Dad pushed the button. Nothing. Pushed it again. Nothing. By now mom is screaming at dad to "do something". I'm just standing there in lala land. Finally, after what seemed like forever, but what was probably seconds, the door opened and there was my brother. A tense but happy ending.
Thanks for recovering something I hadn't thought about in years.
I traveled over from Travis' page. I wrote a Memoir Monday that is the parent version of your childhood experience today.
Too funny! I hope my son isn't scarred for life after reading your account of walking in on your parents. I think my little guy was like 4 or 5.
Lock installed…check! Have a great day. Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com
DOOR LOCKS ARE A GREAT INVENTION.
As a Jew, I do not believe in immaculate conception, EXCEPT when it comes to my own 'making.'
Perhaps you are the same way š
I walked in on my parents doing it doggie style when I was 14.
My eyes burned for days and I cried on and off for a week
I just almost threw up in my mouth thinking about it!
Leigh
Wow! That was bad, but I guess it could have been a lot worse. You know, nudity, strange positions, etc.
Just scrub it out of your memory. Use a bottle brush if you have to. Go ahead, get in there. Better now?
OMG, my mom bought me that book!! Too funny. I think I thought I was the only one in the world with it. My friends used to sneak peeks. Do you remember their description of an orgasm (although I don't recall if they called it that)? Funniest ever.
***Ally
I never experienced this sort of trauma, and, as a result, I maintain to this day a firm conviction that my parents do not have sex.
I learned about my parents when we all had to make a trip to the ER one Saturday afternoon. Apparently mom and dad were getting frisky in the shower and somehow mom got knocked out. I shudder to think how. anyway, thanks (i think???) for the trip down memory lane . . .:)
Great story. I never really caught my parents..I think I heard them once when we were camping..eww! Other than that I was in denial until I was like 20!
Holly
OMG, I'm totally laughing…not that the subject is funny but you know what I mean. Just the way you told the story made it funny.
My mom gave me that same exact book when we had "the talk". I remember giggling at the pictures the whole time and she was getting annoyed with me.
I've never walked in on my parents having sex but I did catch my dad naked one morning while he was shaving. I was totally disgusted.
All I can think of is your 7 year old mind trying to work through all of that on its own. It was wonderful and wise of your Mom to pick up on that. You could have worried about that for years!
I have big grown up kids who still don't know where babies come from. I'm sure of it. jk
(I think I remember that book, weird, huh?)
I've always been afraid this would happen to us! Did you ever share your revelation? SITS sent me by, and I'm glad they did!
Mrs. Scribe Reviews: Looking After Pigeon
OH SURE! Read this AFTER we meet…now I'm thinkin' I should've asked for some brownies while I was there. Do you make special brownies? Hmmmm? Maybe to share with the Orange Lipstick lady? Suppose she'd still be so prim and proper after a little herbal intervention?
My bedroom was RIGHT next to my parents' growing up. 'Nuff said, right??
Although I never did walk in on them. Thank GOD!!
When I got old enough to know about sex (in my parent's opinion), my parents left Master's and Johnson's Sex and Human Loving out where I would find it. I was the best informed kid around.
Not a bad strategy, actually. Lol.
I'm pretty certain a stork dropped supah's ass off.
OMG my parents smoked the doob too. I remember the smell. We ( dbd) and I still tease my mom. THe local news reported a round of 'bad hash" GOING around the pittsburgh area. You can betcher butt dbd and i called mom to harass her and tell her to " be careful."
AND ELEVATORS.. this anxiety ridden momma SCHOOLS HER CHILDREN EVERY SINGLE TIME WE GET INTO THE ELEVATOR TO STAY ON THE ELEVATOR IF said disaster should occur.
SOB if you're story isn't just perpetuating my madness.
xxoxo
supah
Thank goodness the sheets were covering them. Are you sure it was an elbow?? I loved it, "sex for no good reason". Great Memoir!!
Charisse at
lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com
Popped in to say hello!!!
Ewwwww…..I, too, walked in on my parents. Thanks for conjuring up that memory…..NOT!!
Found your site through a blog we both follow… love it!
I was LOL at your parental sex story… I found myself in a similar situation when I was about 10. The problem was, I'm adopted, so somehow I'd always managed to convince myself my parents were in a purely platonic relationship and did not engage in that kind of stuff! I am still trying to wipe those images out of my brain!!!
~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com