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My Name is Monster and I Am a Mini Poodle.

January 11, 2010

(This is my favorite perch–atop the couch in the living room. You’d think I was a cat.)

My name is Monster and I am a really handsome Mini Poodle. I am 5 1/2 years old, and I adore my family. I especially love that my parents refuse to give me a typical Poodle ‘do. Most people think I am a Bichon instead. Anybark, I try to be a big help around the house, but they just don’t get it! My sisters make such a mess at meals, so I hang out to catch the crumbs they drop on their chairs and the floor. I wait very patiently most of the time….(how cute am I, by the way?!?)

but occasionally I lose control can’t help myself and Mom and Dad have to tether me on my leash, which really bites. Each morsel is so delectable compared to this Iams shit they feed me day in and day out. Sometimes my sisters are little hags sweet for a change and toss me their vegetables under the table when my parents aren’t looking. So I’m afraid I’ve become a bit of a beggar, which isn’t good. But honestly, would you want to eat the same crap at every meal for the rest of your natural born life?

See that little Goldfish cracker? MmMmMMm. My favorite. The girls just can’t seem to get everything into their mouths. So I take care of the rest. Being so low to the ground sure has its perks!

After the meal is over and Mom is slaving away washing the dishes, I seize the opportunity to help her clean up the kitchen. I lick the table and placemats clean while she yells at me from the sink. I wait until I hear the dishes clatter and then I hop down and hide under the table where she is too big to reach me can’t catch me. I also find yummy bits on their napkins. Before Mom went all green she used paper napkins, which I would helpfully shred for her (to aid in the decomposition process, you see). Now she uses cloth napkins, so I drag them off the table and onto the floor where I can lick them clean in peace. Then Mom screams at me again, snatches them from me, and starts complaining about all the laundry she has to do every day.

“This is MY napkin now, Mom! Don’t you dare try to take it away!”
As Mom loads the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, I feel its my duty to make sure she’s rinsed them well. So I check it all out and give it a last wipe down with my tongue.
After all my hard work, all I want is a nap on the same little blue bed I’ve had for 5 1/2 years….
and a maybe belly rub!

Filed Under: Home + Family

Comments

  1. Robin says

    January 11, 2010 at 6:54 am

    Awwww..what a cutie..he seems very helpul too…he gets closer to the dishwasher than any one in my family…LOL…Hi Erin ..here is my new site..I lost my other one in bloggy heaven..2 years of links and all..Oh well..!Im a new/old follower..!

  2. BigSis says

    January 11, 2010 at 7:15 am

    Cute puppy and cute story! I think that "Iams shit" is gourmet compared to stuff I've fed my cats. I'm pretty sure there are cat parts in the generic cat food!

  3. Secret Mom Thoughts says

    January 11, 2010 at 7:17 am

    What a cutie!

  4. Lee the Hot Flash Queen says

    January 11, 2010 at 7:21 am

    He is so cute!! So, when you meet mine, I hope you don't freak…she's about 1000 times bigger!! Love your table!!

  5. Quirkyloon says

    January 11, 2010 at 7:39 am

    Oh my gawsh. I spied that goldfish before reading that it was indeed a goldfish cracker.

    What does that say about me?

    I'm afraid.

    But your dog sure is a cutie!

  6. Reluctant Housewife says

    January 11, 2010 at 7:44 am

    Very cute little dog you have there. Is his name really Monster?

  7. Amanda {My Life Badly Written} says

    January 11, 2010 at 7:48 am

    Mini Monster but a cutie none the less!

    Hey, it beats having to vaccum under the table each night!!

    (how many times have you said.."don't worry…the dog will get it!!!)

  8. Kelly says

    January 11, 2010 at 8:08 am

    Haha, that was too funny! What a cute dog you have šŸ˜€ I can't believe she licks the silverware in the dishwasher, hahaha!

  9. Heide says

    January 11, 2010 at 8:34 am

    Cute. šŸ™‚

    We have an issue of High Five magazine with a little story about a firestation dog named Monster.

  10. Shell says

    January 11, 2010 at 8:39 am

    What a little cutie!

  11. Coffeypot says

    January 11, 2010 at 8:41 am

    Why wash the dishes? He licked them clean.

  12. Daffy says

    January 11, 2010 at 8:47 am

    Iams shit…HA! I hope our human/dogs never meet. They are liable to form some kind of Union…that would be disasterous!

    Love the post idea!

  13. Gracey says

    January 11, 2010 at 8:56 am

    He is super cute! I really want to give him a belly rub right now!

  14. 5thsister says

    January 11, 2010 at 9:04 am

    Dang, girl! Monster must have been the one to teach my dog all her tricks!

  15. elzimmy says

    January 11, 2010 at 9:07 am

    My dog perches on the same spot on our couch – there's even a dent in the cushion. Funny how our pets train us, right?

  16. Hillbilly Duhn says

    January 11, 2010 at 9:14 am

    Awwww! So cute! Thank you for following my blog. Came to say hello and found I liked it here!! lol So now, I am your newest follower!

  17. T. Anne says

    January 11, 2010 at 9:17 am

    Too precious! Monster or not, too cute šŸ˜‰

  18. Travis says

    January 11, 2010 at 9:22 am

    That little dog has "doucher" written all over it.

    I for sure wouldn't mind it comin round my place and doin some dishes though.

    You wanna take it on the road?

  19. Noelle says

    January 11, 2010 at 9:42 am

    she is adorable! but really, all this stuff isn't her fault. any good dog can go bad when there are kids around to "drop" food on the floor.

  20. Beverly says

    January 11, 2010 at 10:13 am

    Change that dog into a chihuahua nad he is mine! LOL

  21. Kate@And Then I Was a Mom says

    January 11, 2010 at 10:15 am

    SO cute. And I am very impressed by your abandonment of paper napkins. I have yet to cross that threshold. I suspect it has something to do with my innate laziness.

  22. Two Normal Moms says

    January 11, 2010 at 10:33 am

    Cute! You are a good dog mom – my dog would love to be able to lick the silverware in the dishwasher! šŸ™‚
    And because of you, we now use cloth napkins! Thanks!
    ***Ally

  23. Amy says

    January 11, 2010 at 10:38 am

    I have two EXTREMELY HAIRY persian cats that are in no way helpful in the least. While yes, the dog begs at meal times, you have to admit it is quite handy to have her "clean up" the kids' mess.

    Also? I've heard before that poodles are one of the smartest breeds of dogs. Looks like you found a keeper;)

  24. Helene says

    January 11, 2010 at 10:41 am

    Awwww, but he's SO cute!!! He looks so soft and cuddly. He'd be in heaven if he lived with us…there's enough food scraps on the food to feed him for a week. Our cat is completely worthless….she has more expensive taste I suppose.

  25. MiMi says

    January 11, 2010 at 10:42 am

    Oh, what a cute lil Monster! I'm glad you don't give him the typical poodle-do! šŸ™‚

  26. Emily Chester Rothwell says

    January 11, 2010 at 10:43 am

    OMG, I swear our dogs could be twins, not only in appearance, but in behavior!

  27. foxy says

    January 11, 2010 at 11:00 am

    LOVE this post. What a sneaky little cutie!

  28. Barb says

    January 11, 2010 at 11:09 am

    Ginger and Sassy just want monster to know that they understand. They are often unappreciated for their efforts and cleaning up the floor and chairs after meals and for pre-rising the dishes in the dishwasher!

  29. blueviolet says

    January 11, 2010 at 11:12 am

    He's an awfully big cutie pie!!! That last photo really did call for a belly rub!

  30. Tattoos and Teething Rings says

    January 11, 2010 at 11:14 am

    Very sweet doggy pics, but you know what really caught my eye? The dishwasher; I'm so jealous.

  31. Aunt Juicebox says

    January 11, 2010 at 11:40 am

    Ah, so cute! We had a little white pomipoo when I was a kid, and he was the best! My nieces always tell me not to worry about food they drop on the floor because "kitty get it". At their house the cats are the scavengers. lol

  32. SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB says

    January 11, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    erin – that's what dogs are for! to eat all the food the kids drop!

  33. T.J. says

    January 11, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Monster is the best name ever- especially for a poodle!!

  34. LMJ says

    January 11, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    aawww…Monster is so adorable! Cute story! =)

  35. LMJ says

    January 11, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    aawww…Monster is so adorable! Cute story! =)

  36. LMJ says

    January 11, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    aawww…Monster is so adorable! Cute story! =)

  37. Tater Tot Mom says

    January 11, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Adorable!

  38. Mrs Montoya says

    January 11, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    Darling! The dog that is. And I love the clever post.

  39. The Blue Zoo says

    January 11, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    Arent you lucky to have such a helpful Monster?

  40. Holly says

    January 11, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    Cute doggie. I think kids turn the dogs into beggars. My dog used to be so good about it…he would just leave people food alone…and then we had kids!

  41. Amber says

    January 11, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    So cute! My dog likes to lick the stuff off the dishes in the dishwasher and she's a little beggar too!

  42. Working Mommy says

    January 11, 2010 at 7:09 pm

    My pups are just like you…they like to help and constantly hear "NO" from everyone in the family!! Hahahaha!

    ~WM

  43. June says

    January 11, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    My cat acts like a dog and does the whole "watch you eat and beg for food" thing… pathetic.

    Cute pup!

  44. Masala Chica says

    January 11, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    The last picture looks like Monster really wants to be a super model. All that is missing is some sand and sun – he is a natural at the whole modeling thing šŸ˜‰
    Kiran

  45. The (Un)Experienced Mom says

    January 11, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    Awwww….super cute! But even so, I am not a pet person! I might be the only one.

    By the way, I love your built in shelves in the family room!

    Tamara
    http://www.theunexperiencedmom.com

  46. gayle says

    January 11, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    Such a cutie!!

  47. The girl with the flour in her hair says

    January 11, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    Wow, it's so great that you have that kind of help around the house! šŸ˜‰

    Our dog has learned that beside the high chair is the very best place to lay. Baby "accidentally" drops all kinds of splendid tidbits into doggie's mouth. (Doggie who is on a diet, by the way. Thyroid problem…)

  48. Arizona Mamma says

    January 11, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    So do your daughters torment the dog at all?

  49. adrienzgirl says

    January 11, 2010 at 11:48 pm

    You just gotta love a dog who will help with housework!

  50. Life Laugh Latte says

    January 12, 2010 at 12:18 am

    Love the hair cut…seriously the cutest poodle I've ever seen. Please don't ever dye him pink! Holly

  51. ScoMan says

    January 12, 2010 at 1:21 am

    Cute dog and great post.

    I'm not sure which picture I like more. The one where he's sitting by the chair hoping for some food or the one with the napkin.

    They're all great I guess.

  52. wheelyboy says

    January 12, 2010 at 1:52 am

    i have 2 mini poodles mixed with something else. 1 black and 1 white. They both think they're cats and try to sit on my lap at the same time.

  53. Stephanie Faris says

    January 12, 2010 at 9:02 am

    Adorable. It's so cute when they roll over for a belly rub. One thing my dog has never done is lick the dishes in the dishwasher. She doesn't seem to realize that's an option!

  54. Jersey Girl in Louisiana says

    January 12, 2010 at 10:28 am

    what a sweet pup!

    beware the king cake! i live two blocks from gambinos.. its dangerous!

  55. Mrsblogalot says

    January 12, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    He is awesome and I want to squeeze him!!!!

  56. Melissa says

    January 12, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Love your napkins!

  57. kys says

    January 12, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    I like his hair better than the typical poodle do. Very cute!

  58. LeAndMatt says

    January 12, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    Luv it! I remember when Monster became your first baby! We have our black golden doodle who is actually 3/4 standard poodle one part Golden Retriever. We LOVE HER! And she has some of the same traits as Monster!

    love ya
    LE

  59. Allyson says

    January 14, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    hahahahaha this was sooo much fun to read. he's adorable!!

    my hubby is trying to talk me into getting a poodle. LOL he'd love you even more if he knew you had one! šŸ™‚

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