Wanted: A good friend who lives nearby (i.e. preferably here in KC). This friend should be funny, intellectual (but not too intellectual), loyal, trustworthy, and patient. This friend should be honest with me, but at the same time know when a teensy white lie is appropriate. Said friend should also want to hang out on a semi-regular basis, whether it means with our kids in tow or at a sushi joint with sake and obnoxious snorting going on. Sure, email, Twitter, and text messages/phone calls are great, but I want to be friends with someone who actually enjoys spending face time with me. I want to be able to confide in you on several levels: the mundane, the serious, the hysterical, the goofy. I want to be able to say to you things like: “My children are driving me batty. Is it 5:00 yet?” or “Do you want to take the kids to the park and catch up on some good gossip?” or “I just ate too much Mexican food and chocolate chip cookies and now I’m having explosive diarrhea.” This friend should not cringe to watch me consume copious quantities of cookies, cupcakes, or brownies. Said friend should helpfully dive into the snacks with me and we can then go work out together the next day to burn it off.
If you are considering applying for this position, you might want to know a little bit about who you’ll be working for.
Me: I’m a little needy in that I tend to look to others for validation. But I don’t like to come across as needy, though. I will often retreat into myself and get pretty absorbed in the daily grind of kids, working out, cooking dinner, running to the grocery store, and doing a trillion loads of laundry. I’m a tad OCD. I over analyze everything. I’m chronically on time or early. I’m not very patient. I really just want someone to hang out with more often, to be my very dear friend. I have several good & old friends, but they don’t live nearby. I do have friends here in KC, but I want to be someone’s close friend—I want to be someone you confide in, call when you need a shoulder to cry on, a favor, etc. I want you to trust me with your secrets while I trust you with mine. I think it’s hard for women to maintain friendships when young kids are in the picture; the dads play golf together every weekend or bond at football games or go out drinking on weekend nights. I don’t do any of this. I’m the one who’s mostly at home or coming home early to relieve the sitter while Hubby goes out on the town.
I am not good at reaching out a lot. I’m afraid of rejection. I don’t put myself out there enough.
Will you be my friend? My biggest fault is that I will probably love you too much.